By Ignite Excellence

So, the golfing season is in full swing again. Yelps of joy and frustration ring out once more across Ontario’s fair-ways, greens and undergrowth as winter-honed intentions find their feet on the real deal – the course itself. Transitions from thought to practice seldom work out quite the way we intended, for better or for worse. The pros can make it look effortless, but as they will tell us, golf is a game that is anything but effortless. As with communication skills, this beast can never be tamed – there is always room for improvement. Ask Tiger.

Good golf and effective communication have much in common. Both require solid technique, diligent practice, unerring patience and above all, a sense of timing that could make a Swiss watch blush. In golf, timing is the difference between that sweet ping of the perfect drive and that ominous clunk of the perfect shank. In communication, it is the difference between head bobbing ac-cord and furrowed-brow confusion. What we say can be greatly enhanced, not just by how we say it, but also when we say it.

Consider the following situation. There is a challenge on a project: someone somewhere dropped the ball, time-lines are sliding and our client is stamping their feet. Pressured to resolve the issue, we sit down with a relevant stakeholder. 90 seconds into the conversation, our stakeholder decides they know exactly what needs to be done and sideswipes us with the immortal words: “Here’s what we’re going to do....” We push back; we have tried this approach before, and we think it won’t work. The stakeholder gets defensive and the conversation stalls. Been here before?

This type of interaction happens more often than we would like and is a hallmark of miscommunication – one person driving an idea without taking the time to under-stand the perspective of the person they are talking to. When we’re interacting with someone, especially when expertise is involved, there comes a point at which we “know” what the solution should be. And it’s so hard not to dive in. Our next step here should be to ask good questions to determine how open this person will be to listen to our ideas, e.g. “Have you done this before?” “What results did you see?” “If we approached it this way, what do you think could happen?” “Why did/didn’t it work before?”

Had the stakeholder in our example taken this time to learn more, they may have been able to challenge our thinking on previous experiences and ultimately earn the right to present us their idea. Ironically, the solution may not have changed, only the timing of its delivery.

Timing a message is pertinent to many situations; meetings with prospective and current clients, employee performance appraisals and cross-selling being just the tip of the ice-berg. Many a frosty conversation with our spouse could likely have been thawed, had we timed the punch line just a little better!

The ability to step back and wait, giving people what they want, when they want it, is a powerful skill in interpersonal communication. Unfortunately, unlike golf, we don’t have the luxury of a driving range, where we can merrily hone our skills and iron out kinks without fear of consequence. Effectively, we spend our entire lives out on the “communication course” and the consequences of that proverbial topped tee-shot or grotesque putt can cost us and our companies dearly, both in terms of reputation and revenue. In business, as in golf, you are only as good as your last shot. Take a moment to consider how good your last shot was. Did you really get the lay of the land? Did you wait, compose yourself and take one last look before “belting the ball”? If you missed the green, so to speak, take solace in Ben Ho-gan’s words: “The most important shot in golf is the next one.”

Enjoy the summer and see you at the CEO Tournament.

Ignite Excellence is a training and development company specializing in influential verbal and kinetic communications. Ignite Excellence develops the skills of CEO members to win and maintain business, build stakeholder perceptions and strengthen internal communications so individuals can Influence. Differentiate. Engage.